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GO INTO FINANCE

In Fifth Grade My School
Thought That It Would Be Cool
To Do A Production Of “Hair”
So I Took Off My Clothes
And Did Three Sold Out Shows
At Each One, My Grandma Was There
And After Each Show,
She Would Throw A Bouquet
And I’d Catch With A Smile
As I Heard Grandma Say:

“Go Into Finance!
Go Into Real Estate!
I Hate To Be Bitchy
But Your Solo Was Pitchy
And You Came In Like Four Measures Late.

Go Into Finance!
Now Is The Time You Should Know
If You So Much As Try
Then It Won’t Even Fly
In A Royal Caribbean Show”

Freshman Year At Polk High
I Decided That I
Couldn’t Wait For Opportunity
So, I Wrote In One Day
A One Woman Play
And I Set Up My GOFUNDME

So I Sent It To Grandma
Who Wrote Back In Pen
She Said “I’d Rather Donate To Zack Braff Again”

“Go Into Finance!
Or Maybe Medicine
Your Skill Set Is Best For
A Formal Request For
A Confidence Assassin.

Go Be A Yuppie!
Or Maybe Just Marry Well.
Cus If I Sound Nasty,
Even With Rhinoplasty
You’ll Never Be Lea Michelle.”

She Said
A Tisket A Tasket
Don’t Put All Your Eggs In One Basket!
There’s Plenty of Pain and Disease
So Spare Us Please!

Well The Cancer Appeared
It Was Worse Than We Feared
And Quick To Matasticize
But She Still Soldiered On
Till She Knew She’s Be Gone
I Watched Her With Tear Filled Eyes…
So I Sang Her A Song
At The Side Of Her Bed
And She Grabbed Me And Uttered
The Last Words She Said…

“GO INTO FINANCE!

KEEP YOUR FACE OFF OF SCREENS

Follow Your Heart
But Away From All Art
And All Karaoke Machines!

Go Into Finance!
Go Start A Darn Day Care!
Cus If Lincoln Were To
Watch Your Broadway Debut
He Would Blow His Own Brains Out Right Then and There!”

That’s Why I’m Here With You
She Pushed Me Because She Knew
When Haters Say Screw It
The Dreamers Dream Through It
And Get Their Own Show On TV
So Here’s To The Fools Like ME!!!



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